So, yesterday, Namibia observed a "National Day of Prayer for Gender Based Violence". That, by itself, didn't bother me. In a country that is so heavily Christian, that's not surprising. However, I saw several of the speeches, and a common thread started to get to me. Over and over again, I kept hearing people say "all we can do is pray." And THAT is what bothered me. Because it's very rare that there are situations where all you can do is pray, and most of those are in cases where all other options have been exhausted.
Now, I don't take issue with the Day of Prayer itself. After all, every single day it seems I read another article (or more) about a man beating or murdering his wife, his girlfriend, or his ex. It's terrible, and everyone talks about it. However, praying is not the only thing that can be done. This is a common thing in Namibia, and this is not the only issue about which I hear the "all we can do is pray" thing, but given the timeliness, I am going to stick to that topic.
There are, in fact many things that can be done. One of the most obvious things is when you feel the urge to beat someone, DON'T!!! Yeah, it really is that simple.Just don't do it. And if your friends is talking about doing it, or you hear or see someone beating someone else (male or female), step in. I realize that in practice, this may not be so cut and dry (after all, stepping in can put you at risk), but that doesn't change the fact that it is something that can be done.
Another thing that can be done, and is being done, is educating people. This is slow, but will in the long-term lead to change, because cultural changes (and this is a cultural change, and a pretty big one at that). After all, the young are more open to new ideas (sorry if this comes off as ageist, but statistically speaking, this is fact, because the young are still developing, whereas the older have already formed their beliefs). So, while the older generation my have grown up in a culture where they were being taught that it is culturally acceptable to hit people who wrong you, the young are being raised in an environment where they are being told that it's wrong (even if they are also receiving mixed messages on the issue). It may take some time, but eventually it will help.
Culture plays a big part. In Namibia, it is perfectly acceptable for a man to have multiple girlfriends. So, when a women gets mad about this, some men will think this is challenging their masculinity (while my personal opinions on the topic may be obvious, I'm not going to explicitly call their culture wrong, as much as acknowledge it's influence on the larger issue). At the same time, women are not allowed to have multiple partners (of course, many do, which causes problems). The acceptability of corporal punishment also contributes, because many of these incidents are people taking corporal punishment too far. Many men also see women as objects there for sex and cooking. That means if the guy comes home, especially if he is drunk, and there is no dinner or the woman won't have sex, many men react violently. Obviously this has to change.
(At this point, I absolutely feel obligated to acknowledge that these issues are not specific to Namibia, and are even problems in the US, but since I'm talking about Namibia's Day or Prayer, I realize it may come off as a criticism of Namibian culture, which is not my intention. Rather, Peace Corps has taught u to look for "root causes" of problems and when I hear statements like "all we can do is pray", all I can see is the root causes and how I would address them, though I recognize that there can be more than one way to address an issue, so I am going to speak generally about solutions, a habit I've developed in Namibia, where many of my learners will take examples and just copy them without adding original ideas.)
Alcohol abuse also contributes to the problem in a big way, though I'm not going to get into that one for now, because alcohol abuse is probably the biggest problem Namibia faces, a contributing factor to almost every issue, and I could write a full post on that alone. However, I'll jut say that enforcing the Liquor Act would be a good step.
Enforcing other laws would help. The fact is, Namibia's court system is so backed up that some of these GBV cases can take years to reach trial, and in many times, the person who committed the act is allowed to walk free (and a majority of people who would beat someone once will do it again). On top of that, the police tend to be understaffed, so it's hard for them to respond in time.
One great resource for dealing with this issue is the Ministry of Gender Equality and Child Welfare. That's right, there is an entire ministry dedicated to this issue, and they have all sorts of manuals and resources for trying to do outreach for different age groups on this topic.
I know it's cliche, but I am going to wrap up now, and I think the most appropriate ending is with the story of the man who was drowning. A man in New Orleans hears all the warnings about Hurrican Katrina, but chooses not to leave. Sure enough, the man soon finds himself up to his neck in water after the levees broke, with the water still rising, so he begins to swim, but knows he can only do so for so long. A man in a raft passes him by and says "get in", but the drowning man says "no, I am religious, and I know God will save me" A few minutes later, a Muslim in a rowboat approaches (yes, I now working a David Eggers reference into this post), and says "get in", but again the man replies "no, I am religious, and I know God will save me." Then a National Guard helicopter approaches, and again he is offered a rescue, and again he turns it down, saying "no, I am religious, and I know God will save me." Well, the man drowns, and upon his death, he meets God, and he asks "God, I don't understand, I am religious, I prayed to you, and yet how could you let me die?" God replies, "I sent you a warning, I taught you to swim, I sent 2 boats and a helicopter. What more do you need from me?" Well, Namibia has been blessed with news outlets reporting the horrors. People are blessed with the ability to react when they see something wrong. There are education tools and a ministry dedicated to this very issue. While I believe it certainly can't help to ask for more help, there comes a point where Namibia must take proactive steps to address the problem. Hopefully this Day of Prayer will be a step towards further measures, but the next step must be taking personal responsibility, and that starts with recognizing that prayer is not the only answer. The tools are there. Now they must be used.
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| Okay, a bit harsh and oversimplified, but still |
