The obvious first thing on this list is probably obvious, and on the list of every PCV, in every country, ever. I wish I had more time for traveling. Hiking Snake River Canyon would've been great. Maybe canoe the entire Orange River. See the Caprivi region, where I've never made it to. Spend more time in the north, especially the O-lands, where I've only spent short times. See more PCVs' sites and experienced the way they lived more. And, of course, while I'm in Africa, see more of the continent. After all, how long until I will be able to afford to come back here? I'd love to have seen more of South Africa, especially Kruger. I wish I'd been able to get to Malawi, or Mali, or Tanzania, or Kenya, or Cote D'Ivoir, or Cameroon (sorry I couldn't make that one happen, Greg). I definitely wish I had time to get away and climb Kilimanjaro, though that's largely related to my reading Kerouac's "Dharma Bums" and Krakauer's "Into Thin Air", both of which have reminded me of my love of being outdoors, even if I'm probably not in good enough shape for that climb. I realize I could've spent 5, even 10 years, over here and not been able to do all the traveling I wanted, especially on my budget, but that's still the obvious answer.
Of course, not all the things I wish I had time for are selfish. My boss is currently taking classes to earn his law degree, and I wish I could stay here long enough to see him get it. I have friends here who are planning to get married soon, something I will miss. Tia, Tiha, and !Ge are growing up, and they have really become family to me. So did Brody and Peggy in Okahandja. Babies have been born to people I care about. An influx of new employees in the past year has brought new energy to my office. And now, I'm leaving. I won't see what happens next. Sure, I can stay in touch, and will definitely try to. And, it's time for me to move on with my life. I can't stay forever. That would defeat the purpose of the work I'm doing. But, as anyone who has ever had to leave everyone behind will tell you, it's hard not have regrets, to wish you could stay longer.
Then there's Taylor. She's basically been my little sister for the past year. High times and struggles, we've been there, and I do feel a ping of guilt now that I'm leaving, almost like I'm abandoning her. I feel similarly about Den, though we aren't quite as close, since he hasn't been here quite as long and our work doesn't overlap to the degree mine and Taylor's do.
And, of course, there's my work. When I came to Namibia, I had some grand ideas for what I would do for projects during my service. Then, I went through training. I came out with even more. And I go to my site visit, when my counterpart passed away, adding to my list. And, throughout my service, that list has grown. Grown to the point where it would be impossible to do everything on it. Here are a few of the projects I wish I had time to either make happen or finish:
- Designated Driver Project- this one was directly inspired by the death of my counterpart. He passed away in a car accident, just 3 days after I met him. It's never been completely confirmed to me, but it has been suggested that alcohol was involved. Even if it wasn't, I have experienced since then more than my fair share of alcohol-related driving deaths or injuries. My idea was to convince taxi drivers to provide free rides (or, at least greatly reduced) between Otjiwarango and Khorixas (or, at least Outjo in Khorixas) at night during weekends and holidays, and, in exchange, arrange with local bars to provide them free cool drinks and advertise in their bars the numbers of the taxis participating. I realize this could be costly on the drivers, which is why it never came to fruition. The other part of the plan involved having school children standing on the side of the road during public holidays and in front of bars on weekends and convincing the police to re-establish checkpoints on the very dangerous road between my town and Outjo. The kids would have signs with warnings like "A taxi is cheaper than a ticket" or "Hospital bills cost more than $150" ($150 is the cost of a one-way trip to Otjiwarrango) or "Don't make your mamma cry, don't drink and drive" or other messages along those lines. If I had more time, I think the second part could easily have happened.
- Gym Club- This club is going strong. Sadly, once Taylor leaves, I'm not sure there will be anyone else to take over. I had hoped to have time to train someone else, but the person we were considering left. I guess Grace and I got this going, so sustainability is on you now, Taylor.
- Resource Drive- Okay, this one isn't so much a time thing. My laptop broke the other day, so I lost a lot of the later drafts of the resource drive I've been putting together. Fortunately, I do have back-ups, just not the most up to date. I am now frantically working to finish it up. Things like the exams and practical assignments for my computer class, pre and post tests for life skills/condoms/alcohol abuse classes, a sexual behavior survey, a PowerPoint presentation on proper condom use (male condom only, at this point, since I don't think I'll have time to re-make both, and that one will be easier, given my personal resources), a list of common condom mistakes, a list explaining safe sex in soccer terms to help teach this stuff to kids, etc. I'm going to try and get together what I can, and it'll still be better than nothing. Something I can leave behind for the colleagues who take over my work or a future PCV who replaces me.
- Youth Environmental Club- Blind Mike and I have been working on this since my second week here. Sadly, the main issue has been money and ministry approval. The recent election means new people, and a chance to try again. I may not be in the greatest shape, but I hike a lot around the bush outside my town. It would've been great to take some kids out there, teach them about things like s'mores and campfire stories, play guitar, see the stars, etc. Like American, Namibia is moving towards a generation growing up in front of a TV. They aren't quite as bad as we are, but Namibia could definitely use programs like the Boy Scouts (political controversies aside).
- Youth Soccer League- I mean a weekly league, maybe 7-per-side, or something. Get parents and local community leaders to coach. Yes, the schools have teams, but it's hardly year-round, and the structure just isn't there. Especially for girls. Something similar to MSI would do wonders for keeping kids out of trouble, building skills like teamwork, and maybe even getting parents more involved in the lives of their kids (not to be culturally insensitive).
- Computer Classes- I had hoped to be able to run through them one last time so I could train Marge, the woman replacing me. She knows the material, but doesn't have my gift for public speaking or my confidence in front of a class. She's great one-on-one, but I wish she and I could have gone through two rounds of the class, rather than just one. Sadly, aging equipment and bureaucratic nonsense made that impossible.
Time is running out. Tomorrow is my first going away party. In about 2 weeks, I leave Khorixas. A little over a week after that, I leave Namibia altogether. My home for two years. The time has flown. It may be a cliche, but it's true. The days seemed to last for weeks, the months passed like days, and the years went by in the blink of an eye. I barely have time for my goodbyes. I'm sure some people are going to be missed, because I'll go to where they live or work and find they are gone. I could probably spend the entire rest of my life here and still not have time to get everything done, see everything, and do everything I want to. That's the reality of life. I don't regret what I did. I just wish I could do more.
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