Sorry for the negative tone of this post. However, reflecting on my service also requires looking at the bad. Namibia's a gorgeous country and my service has been an overall wonderful experience. These past two years have featured some truly unforgettable moments. On the other hand, that's not always what I want. As Xavier Rudd once said, "There are things I would like to remember/There are things I'd prefer to forget". On that note, some things I'd like to forget:
The first thing I have to mention is "Owe me". I've discussed this several times, but it's honestly reflective of so much of what is wrong with Namibia, all wrapped in two words. No, I don't owe you a darn thing, unless you have provided me a good or service or I have done something to put myself i your debt. And don't give me that "in Africa, we share" line. If that's true, the how about giving me some of your money? And stop teaching your kids to beg. It's not okay. It's actually quite disgusting the way you've trained them to the point that it's almost an instinct when they see a white person that they drop what they are doing and ask for money. Oh, and no, it's not just $1. Do you people have any clue how many people seem to think my white skin and American accent means I owe them some debt? If I gave $1 to even half the people who ask me for money, I'd be broke in less than a month. No, not all Americans are rich. I fact, America has more people living in poverty than the entire population of Namibia. It doesn't matter what the exchange rate is, I still only make around $2000-$2500 a month, in Namibian dollars. This idea of expecting handouts is pretty reflective on Namibian society as a whole, but I'll stop there, rather than going into a whole rant on fiscal politics. If I never here that sentence again, though, it'll be too soon.
Another thing I'll never forget, but wish I could, is the food. Now, that's not entirely true. For the most part, I love the food here. Especially when I cook it. What I wish I could forget is the amount of salt and mayonnaise Namibians cook with, as well as all the oil. The there are the mopani worms. Sure, I'm glad I tried them. But the texture, even when cooked nicely, is something that just doesn't sit right with me. And the stomach. Bleh. I don't mind intestines. Some of it tastes pretty good, actually (some of it tastes like shit because, well...). But stomach just does not do it for me. On the other hand, the meat here, I wish I could bring it back with me. Definitely going to miss springbok and gemsbok meat.
I wish I could forget all the frustrations of dealing with my ministry's head office. The electricity bills being so far behind that it would regularly get cut off for whole weeks. It's been over five months we're been trying to get new mice for our computer lab. Paperwork get lost, "oh, you needed this person to sign the form before that person, now you have to start over," and programs getting canceled because transport of cash was denied at the last second. Ugg. Bureaucracy just sucks. Sadly, I have a hunch this won't be the last I have to deal with it.
And then there is hiking. No, I'm not talking about long walks in the wilderness. Actually, I love that. I go on hikes almost every weekend. The "hiking" I won't miss is "hitchhiking," which is how we get around. Namibia doesn't have great public transportation, so you rely on people driving between towns. Cramped cars. Waiting hours while they drive around because they won't leave until they car is completely full. People putting their crying babies with poopy diapers on your lap when they get tired of holding them. Car breaking down. The sneaking suspicion that I'm paying slightly more than the black people in the car. The same three songs (all lousy to begin with) being on repeat for two hours. Makes me miss the Metro.
Oh, and don't get me started on that trip on the dirt road between Khorixas and Kamanjab, in the bed of a bakkie whose windows didn't close. And coming home to the water being cut off. Fortunately, it rained a couple hours later.
I really wish I could forget two years of instant coffee. It does the job, but it tastes awful.
There are a few nights where alcohol as involved that I wish weren't so memorable (those involved know what I'm referring to, but I won't go into any more details, for their sake).
Oh, and, continuing the joke from COS Conference, CJ.
Okay, so I know after reading this post you're going to think I have a not so great attitude. I assure you, the rest of these reflection posts will show how not true that is. I'm ready to home, to see family and friends, and enjoy some of the luxuries of the US (hot showers and better beer, for instance). However, I love Namibia and hope I can get back here soon.
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